When I began the experiment I felt tense. I could only think of all the other things I could be doing, but after a while I began to relax. I began to consider what is taking place in my mind. I tried to keep my mind from racing, but it seemed to be impossible. I kept telling myself to just stop thinking about the same things over and over. I was annoyed with the fact that I just couldn't convince myself to stop.
The most noticeable aspect was that I tend to be in a constant battle inside my head. I question myself about every mental process. I wonder why I think and feel the way I do. I wonder why I don't feel differently than I do. There is something in Personality Psychology known as Self-Monitoring which is the extent to which a person keeps track of their mental and physical state. I score high on this measure which plays out much like having a mental commentator doing a play by play, running each mental process through some form of analysis. I question every thought for motive and any deeper meaning behind each thought. Some who read this may think I am neurotic, which is true. Some may think that I am thoughtful, which is also true.
The main conclusion is that I need to trust my instincts, accept my thoughts and feelings as valid. I need not rely on others to validate me. This task is not simple, but it can be done. If I can bring any encouragement to anyone I would say try the 30 minutes of nothing. Know thy self. Trust thy self. Love thy self. Otherwise you are no good for anybody including you.